Still
by Jax Draconia
Summary: After the climax of HBP, Narcissa finds Snape in hiding. They confront and comfort each other about the recent events, and together try to overcome their seemingly shared destiny. Non-DH-compliant.


This is my first posted fic. I was in a bit of a rush to post it before the DH release, so feel free to review so I can improve it later. Happy reading!

I don't own these characters. I wish I did.

A rap at the door.

oOoOoOoOoo

The man in the corner stirred, shaking back his long dark hair to focus on the single entrance. He returned his head to its place on the cold wall, sharp eyes still alert.

Another rap, this one stronger, louder, more demanding.

He slowly reached down, long, pale fingers grasping for something just out of reach. The found their mark, and he raised his arm slowly, pointing his wand at the door. He took a deep breath. For the first time in days, weeks, his hand stopped shaking.

The rapping turned to pounding. Any stronger would send the flimsy door with the broken hinges flying across the room.

"What?" Snape demanded, almost surprised that his voice still worked. The door swung open to reveal a small, pale woman with blond hair flying in every direction. A woman whose position demanded that she bring snobbish calm to an art form, now searching the room frantically with wild eyes.

"Where is he?" she asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.

"Ah, Narcissa," he replied smoothly, "How kind of you to join us."

"Where is he?" she repeated shrilly. "Don't play your fucking games with me. I know he's with you. Is he okay?" She made to move past Snape's chair, but he stood up quickly, blocking her way. She started as he raised his wand and opened his mouth, but he only summoned the lumpy sofa over so she could sit.

"Sit," he said. She sat.

"Yes, Narcissa, Draco is with me. No, he's not fine. You seem to have given him the impression that his family would die if he didn't do it. That he would die if he didn't do it." He returned to his seat by the wall, once again glancing at the door. "Did you intend to put you son under this kind of stress, Narcissa?"

"Severus," she muttered, "I don't know what you're talking about. Do you honestly believe that I wanted this to happen? I'm not trying…I just wanted him to see how important this was, is all. I knew…"

"I don't think you did. You don't know half of what you think you do."

There was a pause as Snape studied her.

"I know. I did what was best for my son. He's my only son, Severus…"

Snape turned away, suddenly fascinated by the molding wall.

"Listen, I understand this is hard for you. But you did the right thing. And everything's alright now, isn't it?"

Snape wheeled around. "Oh, yes, everything is perfect! I killed one of the few men who trusted me, lost every semblance of respect I had from anyone, and ran off to this hut on a rock in the middle of Merlin-knows-where!" He took a deep breath. "Yes, Narcissa, everything is just _wonderful _around here. Thanks for asking."

"Don't make this sound like it's my fault."

"Because it's not?" he smirked. "Are you so self-delusional?"

"What was I supposed to do? The Dark Lord was using him, Severus! Was I supposed to let Draco die for Lucius' mistake?"

"And you honestly thought He would let you all live if I did it." It wasn't a question.

"For certain? No. But there was a chance. And let's face it, Severus, you had less to lose?"

"I had less to lose?" Snape stood up, towering over Narcissa.

"But think of all you gained! The Dark Lord will honor you above all others! This is all you used to want…"

"Don't give me that bullshit. You know as well as I do. We both made…certain decisions in the past. You know where my loyalties lie."

"Then tell them the truth! Tell them you had no choice…tell them about the vow…tell them the old fool had resigned himself to the grave anyway!" She stood, moving closer to Severus until there was barely a centimeter between them. "Tell them," she whispered, tracing a line down his cheek with a long finger, "that this was a deal too good to pass up." She replaced her finger with her lips, softly making her way down to his. Snape closed his eyes and leaned in, capturing her lips with his own. He moaned into her mouth.

Narcissa pulled away slightly. "Don't pretend," she muttered, "that this isn't everything you ever wanted." She threw her arms around his neck as his hands traveled to her hips, her breasts. As they ground their hips together, Narcissa smirked to feel how vulnerable he was to her. She began to slide his robes off his shoulders when he suddenly turned away, looking enraged.

"So that's it, then. That's what you're playing at?"

"What?"

"You know. You know that me doing it wasn't good enough."

"Severus…"

"You knew all along." It wasn't a question. "You told me that the Dark Lord was doing this to punish Lucius. You knew that this wouldn't make Him happy. You had this all planned." His voice was quiet as usual, but his normal composure was gone.

"Severus, you give me far too much credit."

He ignored her. "So you came here, figuring we'd fuck and then it would all be okay. Your guilt is gone out the window; we both fulfilled our end of the deal. You thought maybe I'd let you hide with us? "

"I just…"

"Well, that's not how it's going to fucking work, Narcissa!" She backed away, suddenly frightened. "I'm protecting your son. If the Order ever accepts me again, they will hide him. This is not his fault. We both know whose fault it is, Narcissa."

"Listen, Severus…" Her voice sounded shrill next to his quiet threat. "Lucius and I, we made mistakes, I realize…"

"I don't think you do."

"It can be over, you know," she said, gently steering Snape to the couch. "Lucius is in Azkaban. I could just stay here with you and Draco." She sat down next to him, breathing in his ear. "And when the Order realizes the truth and takes you back, I can be at your side. We'll hide together. Lucius will never know."

"I'm sure. And you'll give up all you've worked for that easily, will you?"

"Yes. I sacrifice what I want for what you want. Perfectly fair."

"Has it not crossed your mind that in all I've experienced, all you and your family have put me through, that this might not be what I want anymore?" Unexpectedly, Narcissa turned away, looking hurt. "Narcissa…"

"What we had…before Draco…that means nothing?"

"We were young. That has nothing to do with this."

"Severus…it has everything to do with this."

"Fine. "

"What?"

"You can stay. See if I care. But there won't be any…I don't want you anymore, Narcissa…this is purely for Draco."

"Thank you." She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before hurrying to the other room to find Draco.

"Fuck," Snape whispered, returning to his position in the corner. "But I still do…I want this." And with one final glance toward the room where Narcissa and her son were celebrating, he got up and walked out the broken door toward the sea.


End file.
